Global Domination

GD's verdicts - Best of 2012: BamaHammer

19/12/12  ||  BamaHammer

1. Kryptos: The coils of Apollyon

BamaHammer (Not In Fucken Charge):

Kryptos is a band that I’ve absolutely fallen in love with over the past year, and they’ve never sounded better. Their brand of old school thrash is so simple and so groovy that you can’t help but want to get up, headbang, and break shit. The almost blackened vocals are a killer touch, and the guitar leads, while not mind-blowingly technical, are amazingly tasty. Nolan Lewis is star in the making. This is the album of 2012 for me. Nothing stayed in my CD player more. Even the cover is fantastic. I also sat and learned every guitar riff on it too. Check out the opener, Mask of Anubis. You ain’t cool if you ain’t old school.

2: Marduk: Serpent sermon

Mortuus is such a good black metal vocalist that it’s almost not fair. He has single-handedly taken a world class band like Marduk to a level of evil black metal perfection I never dreamed was possible. If you like “Wormwood”, then “Serpent sermon” will blow you away as well. Messianic Pestilence is the song of the fucken year in my opinion.

3: Carach Angren: Where the corpses sink forever

If you want to know how to incorporate bombastic symphonic elements into your epic black metal compositions, allow Crotch Angry to demonstrate to you how it’s done. Listening to these guys is a truly unique experience. Every track tells a hauntingly interesting story, and the composing of the music is occasionally otherworldly in complexity, yet it’s enjoyable for the album’s entire duration. Bitte tötet mich is an absolutely epic track.

4: Shining: Redefining darkness

Shining can do no wrong. Everything this band puts out there ranges from fantastic to nearly flawless. “Redefining darkness” is just another masterpiece for Kvarforth and Co., as they provide a beautifully melodic journey into the darkest realms of human depression. And the saxophone in The Ghastly Silence is fucken legendary.

5: The Devil: The devil

I don’t even really know how to begin to describe this. It’s black metal. It’s doom. It’s ambient. It’s just incredible. It’s more of an experience than anything else. Instead of lyrics, these unidentified robed fuckos use soundbites to provide the “words” to go along with their epic, atmospheric compositions. Is it absurdly pretentious? Yes. Is it awesome? Absolutely. Just listen to Universe.

Major disappointment of 2012:

This was actually a great year for metal in general. I can’t really complain too much. Yes, the new Testament album sucked, Kiss is still alive, the Haunted broke up, and it was a weak year for good power metal, but that’s picking nits.

Close but no cigar:
Asphyx: Deathhammer
Not a band that I’ve ever really liked, but this one really clicked with me. Van Drunen is a god.

Accept: Stalingrad
German do everything better. Especially classic heavy metal with giant hairy balls.

Burzum: Umskiptar
Varg is crazy. His music is fantastic.

Cannibal Corpse: Torture
This is a band that can do no wrong in my eyes.

God Seed: I begin
The new Gorgoroth album kicks ass.

Meshuggah: Koloss
This is the first Meshuggah album I’ve ever enjoyed. Judge me.

Mgła: With hearts toward none
I still can’t pronounce the name of the band, but this is black beauty.

Miseration: Tragedy has spoken
This is brutal, melodic, and groovy. If that gives you a death metal erection, then this album is for you.

Mustasch: Sounds like hell, looks like heaven
If nothing else, this was one of the catchiest albums of the year.

Outliar: Provoked to anger
A quality melodic death/thrash that came out of nowhere. No seriously, Cary, North Carolina, USA. That’s nowhere.

Skogen: Eld
One of my new favorite bands, thanks to staffer sincan.

Worst thing that 2012 shat out:
This or the Apocalypse’s album, “Dead years” & their fans. The album itself blew barnyards. If you think you haven’t heard it yet, you have. It sounds exactly like every other Americunt screamo-core band that’s currently playing in any teenage skater punk’s earbuds as you read this. What made it worse and infinitely more hilarious was the reaction of their fans on Facebvvk when the kvlt-as-fvck staff of Global Domination called the album what it is: shit. This is one shitty album that just could’ve been laughed at for nine seconds and forgotten, but thanks to this shitty band’s shitty album and shitty fans, this is one moment that will go down in epic GD lore forever alongside Mike Poggione, UGS, and people hating staffer Smalley for no real reason.